Neil just got back from North Camp with a new garage key for me, since mine had broken off in the lock, and two packs of Blue Ribands, among other things. I never cared much for Blue Ribands, still less now I learn that they are a filthy Nestle product. All the more reason to buy delicious Tunnock's Milk Chocolate Coated Caramel Wafer Biscuits, hooray! For what it's worth I am also a definite Pink Wafer advocate too.

From today's Times:

THE TENANT OF WILDFELL HALL[...]
No costumes and some steamy sex scenes make for a curiously abrasive period drama.

That can't be right can it? An entirely naked Bronte two-parter?

Update: Mum says they weren't naked at all. They were even wearing period costume.

MYCHAINS Our story begins at the start of Acts 12.
[...]
FELLOV King Herod (stands) was a bad man.

That was me that was. I made a tolerable Herod too. Last day and it went okay. I had a helper in the kitchen today, so I didn't have quite as much to do, but for some reason I needed to drink a lot more than I had been. Tidying up afterwards, I was very pleased to find some maggots squirmning aroubnd at the bottom of one of our bins. They'd run out of whatever it was they had been eating, so the polite thing to do seemed to be to put them in the compost heap. It took a long time to tidy up afterwards and I pitched in where I could work out what to do. It's over now, but there's still an inflatable whale and netting by the communion rail.

In case you felt like looking at the timestamp below to see when I wrote this, and then worked out that it was impossible for me, at 1800 to talk about a film I watched at 2030, well I can only apologise. I'm not sure I can be bothered blogging when I get back - I need sleep for the final day of the Bible Club. Anyway, here's what I did/will do in the evening of this fine English day in the temperate zone.

There was a BBQ on for the bible club, which I might have gone to, but I mistimed everything, and only got Nick and I a pizza done and eaten just in time to go to Ruth's and then on to Basingstoke cinema. Basingstoke, we had been warned, was difficult to navigate. Nick and I felt the case had been rather over-stated, as with only a handful of directions (M3 to Basingstoke, off at J6, over one roundabout, left at the next, look out for a cinema) we got in pretty easily, in plenty of time to see T3. £3.50 it was, with student discount- a definite improvement on £6.25 at Bracknell. We had allowed tonnes of time, so Nick and I had a blast at a couple of shooters. Time Crisis II was in operation, so we had a quick go at one called something like Robot Ninja Assault which was pretty fun. And then Time Crisis as it was free. Ruth, as per, pitched her wits against a trivia machine.

T3 would be an easy film to criticise if you felt like it. I don't. It was fun, just a lot of action strung together, with some very self-consciously daft moments thrown in.

The drive home, I would have liked a warning for. We followed signs for the M3E and ended up on the A30, not being sure for a fairly large proportion of the time, whetehr or not we were going in the right direction. And then to bed. I was a bit knackered actually.

I finished reading Emma yesterday, but never mentioned it. It's very strange not to have to give it any thought really. The subtext of the work is safely stowed away, far from my concern. I liked it. It was good. It's pretty funny how scared they all are of the weather. Emma's apology to Miss Bates seems incredibly incomplete. I can't believe Harriet came out of it as well as she did. That's all that immediately springs to mind.

Well, today. Today I thought James was annoyed with me or something, so I texted him, and he wasn't. Huzzah!

Holiday Bible Club again, fairly obviously. I spent a large part of the morning trying to avoid being in the drama. Jess, who apparently was organising all of the dramas, was trying to get me to be "a dancing man" but I wasn't having any of it. I couldn't deter her except by asking someone else, so I did. There was a little bit of a meal after it today but I didn't have much, because I was still doing the washing up.

Thgen I went to bed, because I can. Having dispensed with Emma, I'm already reading another book, Reaching for the Invisible God by Yancey.

There's a dog-trainers group in our back garden. Whaddya know?

I was startled to find a Data entry job on the Jobcentre web-site. They directed me to Manpower (always sounds to me like a militant gay rights group) who told me I wasn't availabe for long enough. Pah. Still I can carry on looking. I'm so knackered though; after these mornings I just want to flop out. Never mind.

Back at the Holiday Bible Club, doing the drinks for the hottest day of the year, and I daresay I made a fairly tolerable job of it. We had some sports-type bottles donated to us, and a lot of the kids had them with water in. Utilising the power of fridge overnight I chilled some of them, and a little girl thanked me for making her water so nice and fresh. Jolly nice. I'm still a backroom sort of a helper, so I didn't have too muich contact with the kids, but I did have one of them say to me that she had found a fairy under a leaf, but it was okay, because it had flown off now. I informed her that she had undoubtedly done the right thing. I couldn't really think what else to say.

We had almost ran out of squash and milk by the end, so I was given a tenner and an errand - to fetch some from town. Jess decided to come along too. She said she was a bit bored at her nan's, also that she found the lack of "air-con" a bit annoying. She professed to not mind walking into town, even though it was sweltering. I always walk. We entertained each other pretty tolerably there and back and had a few refreshing drinks in some Camberley pub or other. They're much of a muchness. Now I'm back and ready to relax and listen to Chris Moyles, but should look at the Jobcentre web-site first, and found out when T3 is on at Basingstoke, because Ruth and I shall see it tomorrow, competence permitting.

Ugh. My alarm didn't go off.

I saw Muriel's Wedding yesterday, and I thought it was a pretty good film, but (and I fear I am becoming predictable) what kind of person calls it a comedy? That's what the Times called it. It seems like a film has to be unilaterally depressing and worthy to escape being labelled a comedy. It was somewhat absurd certainly, and I did like it, but it didn't crack me up exactly. A summary of plot elements:

• One dysfunctional family


• One daughter measures her worth by her ability to marry


• The father blames his family for his lack of success


• Cancer and paralysis


• A sham marriage

I suppose you could make a comedy out of that, but, well, they didn't. Don't get me started on peope calling things black comedies...

Apparently I inspired Holy Whapping to do their permalinks. Feel slightly guilty now ("Dan spent all morning on it[...]."). Still, no harm done I should think, and now any reader of said Shrine may link to a particular post, which is I daresay, a good thing.

Oh, and Brian Sewel actually was naked in The Naked Pilgrim today, so I guess the title does make sense after all.

The BBC saith:

On a visit to Glasgow, even the Prince Of Wales was moved to joke with factory workers that the weather was "bloody hot".

"Why is this a joke?", I wonder. I expect it has something with royalty. It's something of a pity then, that I don't have any royal readers. Then I might propose a test along these lines: Say "It's bloody hot today." to the next suitable person you meet and pay careful attention to their response. I predict that my more proletarian readers would receive a response along the lines of "Yes, it is." or "You don't say; I had wondered why this river of sweat had formed about my feet." but if they chuckled politeley, that would be a pretty good litmus test for royalty. Today I feel less happy about being English.