And the Wheels Fell Off

My bike's poorly. Since I'm only a couple of weeks away from submitting my thesis, I was hoping to get away with not sorting it out until I've got some more free time, but it had other ideas.

It's due a service, since I'm doing over 200 miles a month on it. Last service was last year. This could wait a month or so.
The rear mudguard has always been a bit rattly, but now the attachment under the saddle tube has snapped for the second time in a year, causing the mudguard to rest on the tyre - rattling constantly when in motion. I would just remove it myself, but both screwdrivers I own are more intent on rounding screws off than turning them. This could wait, but I might kill someone in the meantime.
The rear wheel needs replacing as it's a bit bent. Again, I could fudge it; just loosening the brakes, but that's not really safe. This could wait, but again, the aggro caused by having brakes applied for a third of each wheel rotation might cause me to attack innocent bystanders.

I decided that the risk to a) my sanity and b) the general public's health warranted a swift resolution, so it's booked in for a service on Wednesday. I may be grumpy due to having to get the bus for a few days. At least the undergraduates aren't back yet.