So... change of plan. Today I go to Plymouth Cathedral for the rite of election. I wasn't going to, and I feel I must apologize to everyone at the chaplaincy for not strumming at them this morning like I was going to, also to Fr. Paul for not being round to meet a person he thought I should speak to, and to whoever might miss me on the walk to the Double Locks. Sorry.

I think they might forgive me given that my reason is that last night I decided to throw my lot in with the Catholic Church. That's slightly misleading actually - it wasn't like a decision at all. For a very long time I've been thinking and occasionally saying, to whoever seemed to want to hear, that the decision to join the Church really seems too big for me. How would I know what criteria to apply? How could I go against the principle of the authority of private judgement and yet commit myself to an organization that claimed to mediate that responsibility?

Actually, I still don't know. What I do know is that I was reading, and then I was praying, and after that I was sort of past the decision. That's probably the best way of describing it. It was there in my mind that the natural thing to do was to become a Catholic, and it stuck, and I was bewildered. I sat there for a long time on the floor in my sleeping bag (it seemed like a good place to pray at the time), critiquing myself, thinking things like "Well, I do feel a little feverish.", "Perhaps it's only because I like the idea of authority* - that's no reason to attribute it to the first body arrogant enough to make that claim." and other such things. And they seemed less real than the decision which I believe God brought about.

Upon stepping outside my door it still seemed to be there, and it also survived the rather prosaic spectacle of seeing Norris playing Nightfire in the front room, occasionally muttering things about skags and floozies.

For the rite I need a sponsor, something I hadn't arranged because I hadn't intended to go, so I roped James into it. It means that I need to do other things to, like get hold of a copy of my baptismal certificate, and probably re-arrange how I spend my Easter, though I'm going to try my best to be at home for it if possible. I should also point out that I won't, um, officially speaking, if that's an adequate way of phrasing it, come out of Plymouth Cathedral a Catholic this afternoon. Assuming things run according to their ordinary usages, I would be received into the Church at Easter, hence the bother about whether I'm at home or not.

So, yeah. A more dramatic evening than most, I thought.

* That argument had a good airing today as well. We had spent most of a day doing a personality test which suggested the following; that I desire security above many things, that I doubt and fear greatly, that I desire a trustworthy authority, that I tend towards obedience and conformism, that I desire to know where I am located within a hierarchy, and, last but not least, that I am happiest in acting with the backing of "dogma", or an analogous rule-book. In short, that I tend towards being a sheep, which should be okay so long as I have a Good Shepherd.