Whew! Found what I think is a ganglion csyt (diagram) suddenly and felt compelled to check the web for any indication that I was going to die in the near future. I don't think that I am.

The timing of it was somewhat worrying, because I've been thinking long and hard today. Perhaps thinking is the wrong word. In any case, what's been on my mind, such as it is, is the sacrament of reconciliation, or confession. Now obviously I was thinking about this because <irony>my spiritual life is really funky right now and I felt real enthusiasm about a completely objective look into the seven (gotta' catch 'em all) sacraments recognised by the catholic church - just couldn't stop myself</irony>.

I'm not an incredibly forthcoming person, as those reading may have noticed. Neither was I in a church that assumed that I might vocalise my own failings before God. However, increasingly (and, I think, largely indepedently of my interest in catholicism) I find myself thinking that my sins aren't something that I should be keeping to myself. I certainly don't think it's practical, not for repentance. I do hope, by the way, that you don't get the idea that just because I think that I ought to be doing something, I've actually worked up the nerve to do it - that would be very misleading. Predictably enough, I've had enough of a think to establish that making "a good confession" would be bloody terrifying.

That's the other thing, of course. Though content to sit out on the Eucharist, "the source and summit of the Christian life" the CCC calls it, and occasionally peruse catholic teaching to try and work out if it's any good, somehow forgiveness seems peculiarly urgent. Funny that. The position I'm in becomes more and more bizarre it seems. Terrifying as it might be, the sacrament of reconciliation seems like the most appropriate thing I could be doing right now. On the other hand it would be an absurd thing to do without believing that Jn 20:22-23 ("[w]hose sins you forgive are forgiven them, and whose sins you retain are retained") gives a particular Christian that very particular duty.

Well, not only is this a very miserable entry, it's also very poorly-written, so this is where it ends.