I was running through the songs for church tomorrow on the acoustical guitar. This bothered me, not because I share the intolerance of James and Andy for all music in an evangelical stylee, but because of two words, on quite a few songs: "With feeling".

Okay, say a musician plays as an act of worship to God, and with feeling - all to the good. However, to have the book in front of you dictate it is just idiotic. Obviously if you're not "feeling" very Romans 12:11 it's very worth paying some mind to, but trying to conjure up passion as and when - daft. I suppose most people just ignore these things anyway of course, or don't need encouraging, but still.

When I compile my No. 1 best-selling Worship Music to Wind Andy and James Right Up: Volume 1, I will of course be sure to leave helpful worship instructions, like "With insincerity" and "With sneering contempt" to aid my strumming progeny in their quest for authenticity.