On Demi Moore:
And we remember toothsome moments of hubris, like this remark: "To me, being a movie star without being respected as an actress would be nothing." This from the star of Disclosure? GI Jane? Ghost? The Juror? Now and Then? Indecent Proposal? OK then, nothing it is.
On tennis:
Why, apart from the superhuman Williams sisters, don't black people play tennis? (Answer: because they are too cool)
Chris Bailey, Mak Cox, Andrew Castle - these are the post-Buster Mottram also-rans of British tennis; the has-beens/never-weres. Dreadful, boring players, they are now dreadful, boring commentators[.]
Henman: Nice Guy, Nearly Man and Tosser Extraordinaire. [...] Take Cliff Richard and cross him with Tony Blair and you get Tim Henman.
On Andrew Motion:
The whole sorry shambles [, a rap written by Motion to be performed by Prince William,] is as excruciatingly Cool Dad as the infamous rave episode of Inspector Morse.
On "Are you happy now?", Michelle Branch:
"No, and nor will I be until te last pouty, angstress female singer-songwriter is hung with the guts of the last gormless talent show muppet."
On Robbie Williams:
[I]n most significant human respects Robbie Williams remains as poor as a church mouse. [...] America's indifference to his charmless buffoonery. [...] Things are not currently going well for Britain's most needlessly tatooed man, something in which the cruel of heart could rejoice, did it not mean he was going to write more songs about it. This, just in case you were in any danger of forgetting, it the terrible Williams mission - to remind us, ad nauseam, how tough it is being Robbie Williams[.]
